August 30, 2004

Entry: Tummies

The Anonymous Clerk talks about Tummies.

I've noticed recently that tummy's seem to be in style these days. They're not exactly being marketed yet - Banana Republic and Calvin Klein still prefer to show us about 2 inches worth of flat, almost scaphoid, abdomen between blouse and low-rider jeans. I don't think it will be long, though, before the moguls of industry look around and realize that people really like the tummy. I'm not talking pudge here - I don't think rolls or creases of fat will ever be in style. I'm talking about the natural convexity that happens between a woman's pubic bone and her naval. And those short, billowy fall skirts are the perfect device for showing that off.
How does the clerk feel about all this? It's lovely. Even the little corner of a smiley face that pokes out from the lateral aspect of that low riding, forward tilting skirt when she has a little extra cellulite on that tummy is nice. But at the same time, I don't think I'm ready for Ck to tap into the power of the tummy. Feminists whine about how women are forced to mold themselves into lean models of anorexia in order to be attractive. They're dead wrong. Men love tummies. We love hips, we love thighs, we love asses and we love it when they're shaped the way god meant for them to be shaped. But as soon as the women of our society discover this little secret of ours, I think we're in trouble. You'll never stop the blond bomshells who know exactly how attractive they are from using the power they have over men. But if the 5'9", 38-26-40's out there with big arms and tummies start tapping into that same power, we could be on the verge of a major social upheaval.
Here is the compromise I propose: women, you may keep your big asses and keep your tummies and we will still love you and we will still fuck you. But you had damned well better be ashamed of that body. I will stop comparing you to the CK model so long as you continue to obsess over her. Deal?

Posted by Simon at August 30, 2004 01:44 AM
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